..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
