but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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