im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
