and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
