My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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