I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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