And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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