Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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