he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
