Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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