im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We are two peas in an std pod
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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