His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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