real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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