my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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