So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
