I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
