nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
