let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize