Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
