What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
