You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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