And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
