24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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