put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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