I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
