This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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