So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
