I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
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