I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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