so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
