You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
