Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
