My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize