I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
