No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
