Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
