yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
