I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
