Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
