I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm at about main and main street
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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