Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
PANTIES FOUND
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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