Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
