There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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