I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
