do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Vodka?
Forever.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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