I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
