We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
