It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
A bitchslap is in order.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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