Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
