how can u be prego again
I think I won the penis lottery.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
