Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm at about main and main street
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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