Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
