Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
