Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
