she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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