the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
