4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
