Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
